I didn’t grow up celebrating Hanukkah with all that much fervor, but I’ve really thrown myself into the holiday as an adult, probably because I A) like fire and B) like being given things. Imagine my joy, then, when I found out I had somehow missed a Hallmark Hanukkah movie released last year, and starring none other than Mia Kirshner, a.k.a. Jennifer Diane Schecter from The L Word. The plot centers around Mia’s character finding out she’s Jewish via an ancestry DNA test, and I, personally, cannot wait to dive in. Chag sameach!
- OMG, Jenny all grown up and presumably straight and in a peacoat!
- This crazy girlie is buying not one, not two, but three wreaths.
- LOL, JK, it’s four.
- Aw, Jenny (I’m not going to learn her character’s name) lost her mom and has drowned her sorrows in Christmas decorating, as one does.
- I want those Santa earrings.
- She’s a chef! Classic Hallmark-movie protagonist job.
- Jenny is doing a DNA test to find out more about her background, which is cool, but also please don’t do this.
- I’m sorry, eating dinner alone while listening to Christmas carols is objectively sad. Throw on some HGTV and save the music for the bath, babe!
- I had a brief, shining moment of thinking this woman in Jenny’s house was her wife, but unfortunately I think it’s her roommate.
- She’s…50% Jewish! Wouldn’t it say “Ashkenazi” or “Sephardic”? (Not to be too technical about it.)
- Jenny’s worried about learning a “whole other holiday,” and I feel like I need to give a PSA here that Hanukkah is probably the lowest-effort Jewish holiday. Candles, dreidels, latkes, sufganiyot (a.k.a. jelly donuts), done!
- A relative from the DNA site wants to meet Jenny, presumably to teach her the miracle of the Festival of Lights.
- Hmm, the relatives are cute fellow restaurateurs doing a special Hanukkah menu, and bringing in a food critic to help them figure it out.
- Wow, the food critic is a cute guy who gave Jenny’s restaurant a mid review! I wonder if they’ll kiss…
- Wait, that’s not just some guy. That’s BEN SAVAGE!
- Oh, hell yeah, Jenny’s new relative’s mom is played by Marilu Henner, character actress of my heart.
- When a man in a Hallmark movie tells you he’s sticking around for the holidays and asks, “Is that going to be a problem?” you know it’s on.
- Oh, are these girls long-lost sisters???????
- Very natural line of throwaway dialogue: “Well, thanks for sharing that story with us, it was amazing.”
- Yep, Marilu Henner gave Jenny up for adoption during a whirlwind marriage in Italy. Classique.
- Ooh, subplot romance for the roommate!
- I’m obsessed with the Vaseline-rubbed filter they film these movies through.
- Jenny makes Ben Savage lasagna (the one he scorned in his review) and tells him about her mom.
- Oh, God, he loves “cross-cultural cooking.”
- I respect the drinking-red-wine-at-lunch hustle. ’Tis the season, right?
- I love that every flirty doorstep goodbye in a Hallmark movie takes 30 minutes to execute.
- Hanukkah story time! Rugrats did it better, but TBH, it is kind of sweet to hear Hebrew prayers in a Hallmark movie.
- Ooh, brisket.
- “Which one is the kugel?” Jenny asks, in classic goyishe-queen fashion.
- Kind of obsessed with this Jewish/Italian food crossover, given that I, myself, am an Italian/Jewish crossover.
- Okay, Jenny’s new sister and mom yente-ing out about her flirtation with Ben Savage is very real.
- I’m sorry, Ben has one dish to make to impress Jenny, and he chooses…noodle kugel? Come on, man. It’s not even a top-20 Jewish food, IMO.
- Like, you could have made latkes!
- Or the aforementioned sufganiyot!
- Or tsimmes!
- Or challah!
- Okay, I’ll stop.
- Do children still make snowmen IRL? Did they ever?
- “Making latkes is actually pretty simple”?????? Clearly, whoever wrote that line has never grated off half their hand trying to get the potatoes ready.
- Jenny’s biological mom (who’s a widow, BTW) reunites via phone with her long-lost Italian ex, and it’s quite sweet.
- Okay, I’ll give this line Jewish-authenticity points: “Stressing about a brisket is how I avoid my feelings.”
- OMG, Ben Savage is teaching Jenny the Hanukkah prayers 🙂
- Ben asks Jenny out, but she turns him down because he’s leaving for a long international trip after the holidays (and, to be fair, she has a lot going on!).
- Oh, his trip is only six weeks? Get over it, Jenny.
- KISS!
- Ugh, I’m embarrassed to admit I loved that.